NERVES

I'VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET!

(will explain in blog)

A few weeks ago, maybe a month but not exactly sure, Gordo, Denny and myself got up to do a pretty decent workout. We were going to ride from G's house up to Switzerland trail and then lock the bikes while we ran the 15 mile loop and then ride back. I had never been up to the trail so I didn't know what the ride would be like and I had never done the run so that would be foreign for me as well. I remember the night before the workout feeling "tense" about it. Part of it for me is waking up early for big workouts. I always fear I am not going to get enough sleep. Another part of it was that running at that point was still "fresh" due to the injury. But the final part, and most ridiculous part was "Can I even do this workout?"

Why would my mind entertain the thought that I couldn't do the workout? I train with Gordo and Denny all the time. What is it that all of a sudden my mind thinks that they will be able to do something that I will not? Or that all of a sudden my fitness is going to be so far behind theirs? I thought long and hard about this and came up to the conclusion that it was based on the "unknown" factor. The issue was that I didn't know the ride, I didn't know the run and I wasn't sure if I could run that far as I hadn't in a long while.

I back up my findings on this issue by looking back on other days where I had a large "unknown" element. The Wiggins ride came right to mind. I had no idea of the route and wasn't sure I could ride 155 miles. All said and done the ride was awesome and I gained alot from doing it but none the less I had "nerves" about it during the first bit and days prior. Our Winter Park trip rang true as well.

Another area of "unknown" factors causing stress is when I go to a race where I don't know the course. Hawaii 70.3 was a perfect example. I knew the swim and the bike and both those areas did not worry me. But with the run there was no way to go over the course prior because it was highly complicated and that caused me "stress." The problem is that the stress I experience causes irrational thoughts like "I can't run that far or that fast."

Having stress before races is often part of doing well. If you are able to manage it you can often use it to your advantage. Many times it is just your body gearing up to race really well. It is when the stress becomes overwhelming that you need to take action. The other day I needed to take some serious action! I think the first real sign was when I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. Can you say "Mommy Dearest?" It is a good thing I don't have a daughter named Christina!

I had mentioned before that I went through a period of my life where I was plagued with pretty intense panic attacks. If you have never experienced one it is almost impossible to explain or get a real understanding of it. The main issue with them is that they tend to cause a cycle that is very hard to break out of. Once the cycle starts you stop focusing on what has "caused" the anxiety/panic but rather you are focused on how you feel. Many of those feelings are very uncomfortable that mimic "impending doom" and cause a sensation of what I would call "Raw Fear." Those feelings are accompanied by actual physical feelings as well. Bottom line, IT SUCKS and it feeds off of itself making it very hard to turn around.

So last week I had noticed that my stress level was going up. I know myself well enough to see the signs. I didn't intervene and just kept being stressed. It blew up in my face and a few days ago I woke up at 5am in a state of panic. I wasn't running around screaming like a chicken with its head cut off. All I was doing was lying there. I felt the panic coming and thought "Oh great." Having gotten over this panic crap I knew that the first thing to do is to NOT react to it. Your animal instincts that we all have make you want to fight it. But in reality you have to ignore it. Proof that it is not easy to do is that many people that have a panic attack end up in the emergency room. I should know because years ago when they first started that is exactly where I went. You feel like you might die....or go insane. FUN!

So there I was sitting in the bed at 5am totally still with a heart rate that I WISH I could attain on a bike and skin that felt like it was on fire or something. Knowing how to deal with it I just went back to all the skills that it I learned years ago. It was harder though because my mind kept going to "I have an Ironman in less than one week! What if I have a panic set back and can't shake this? I am going to blow it. I can't make this stop etc etc..." The "what if" cycle is the fuel to the fire and I wasn't doing a good job of breaking it.

I also knew that part of the way to break it is to distract yourself. I had said that I would go to the swim workout at 8 am. But part of me didn't want to go because I didn't want to be around anyone feeling like that. I just wanted the feeling to go away and THEN I could go do what I needed to do, like workout. Well that is just not the way this thing operates. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. There was nothing about swim practice that I was afraid of so there was no reason not to go. The reason I had for not going was, "I can't go with this feeling." I went anyway and of course I swam fine. What is interesting is that the guys on the team could tell something was up. Panic takes your personality away. I just told them I wasn't feeling great. I didn't want to go into it like I am right now.

The swim made me feel a bit better. Exercise always helps burn off the cortisol and other chemicals your body is producing to create the panic. I went back and ate some food and then found the feeling that never really went away build back up. Marky V had said he would do my ride with me. It took alot of effort to get out the door as I wanted to sit at home again until it went away. Wrong answer!

Once out the door I started to feel much better. Often times if your mind thinks you are doing something that is working towards curing the cause you find yourself to calm down. Well my main cause was most likely my Ironman and riding would be the solution because your mind thinks you are doing something to make that task easier. Make sense?

Marky V had mentioned he was having a stressfull day as well. He wasn't experiencing anything like I was but none the less he was stressed. It was good to hear (not that I want him to be stressed) because it makes you realize that everyone gets stressed. In a way it helps rationalize an irrational mind. So we chatted and kind of tried to work our stuff out....

As I rolled back to the house I felt great but as soon as I got off that bike the feelings crept back in. I had received a text from Denny saying that our "Team Night" was on. We were going to meet the girls on Siri's squad out for dinner and some drinks. I am finding that these guys really do know me because I had gotten a call from Justin making sure I was dragging my butt out. It was as if they knew something was wrong and that I wouldn't show. And I probably wouldn't have.....

Once out I had those familiar thoughts of "Damn everyone here is having fun and chatting and I am sitting with this horrible feeling racing through me." That is how it is. You look normal on the outside and feel like a train wreck on the inside. But I tell you what, the number one way to break this cycle is to get out and be around people and let "it" go. And that is exactly what I did. And it worked.

I'm still "nervous" but I got out of that cycle and now that I am out of it I am able to make sure I am in control of my thoughts. While it seems panic comes out of the blue, there is no doubt that it is coming directly from your thoughts. This is where the picture I put on here comes in.

That workout that I mentioned I did with Gordo and Denny at the top of this Blog is part of my plan to control my thoughts before the Ironman. Gordo had told Denny and I that he had a treat for us after the run. Well once finished the three of us were sitting up there in the mountains and he pulled out the chocolate bar. There was nothing particularly special about the chocolate bar as Gordo has a ton of them at the house. I sat there in the most refreshing silence with the three of them thinking about what a great workout that was for me. I had the best runners high, the sun was out, the hills were green and I was with two people whose company is always a pleasure. Gordo and Denny ate their bar and I just looked at mine. I had decided that I would save it and keep it as a reminder of the day. At Hawaii 70.3 I got this really nice "Umeke" bowl as an award for winning my division. I came home and put my chocolate bar in the bowl deciding that I would collect things that positively reinforced my training and ability up until the Hawaii Ironman.

Going back through all the things in the bowl helps me remember workouts. I don't keep a strict training log. But I can tell you EVERY detail about any workout that is attached to the items in the bowl. To me that is the point. We journal to remember and there is no way that I can possibly write everything that goes through my overactive mind. So I collect things that bring it all back!

Peter Reid once said to put your faith in the training. If you have done the work you just need to show up and let the body go. Obviously and Ironman takes some amount of thinking in the race, but you get the point. From now until Saturday it all about that bowl. I have a ton of things that remind me of my training. The race is supposed to be the reward for collecting all those things!

So there ya have it. A little insight into pre race nerves or straight up panic. Thanks so much to the Good Guys! We have a kick ass team going lets keep it rolling. I can't WAIT to post the pic of us all in the new swim suits :-)

Cheers,

bdc

Racine 1/2 Ironman

This is not the pic I wanted to put up on here. There is a great group shot of us all after the race but it is on my friends camera. So for now you get another Jessica photo of me. This is the run at Racine.


I have made it back to Boulder after a nice little bit of traveling and racing. I have the cankles to prove it! For some reason I feel like I have been gone forever. It has actually only been about 13 days....Anyway, great news to report on my last 1/2 Ironman. I finally had a breakthrough race after a loooong bout with foot problems. All my 1/2's this year have been "decent" but I didn't think any of them really stood out. Racine was a PR performance for me and has definitely given me some confidence for my Ironman coming up in just TWO weeks!



Racine actually caused a lot of stress for me because I did very well there last year and had a really strong run and didn't want to go slower. I wanted to have that same kind of race but I wasn't sure if I was in good enough shape (run wise) to do it. Just recently, I have been able to run without foot pain (Knock on wood, tree's, telephone polls, and even that fake stuff they made 70's kitchen cabinets out of!) I can't tell you how happy I am to have this issue under control. Plantar Fasciitis was a major struggle and lasted for over 5 months. I really owe Bob Crany over at altitude fitness so much as he was the one that figured out how to get it under control. He is now God status.



So back to the stress part. I am notorious for what I call the "pre race injury." That is something that pops up out of the blue before a race with no real rhyme or reason. Most often I overcome the dilemma and do just fine. Rare occasions it actually causes a problem. The whole debate in my mind is "Are they real injuries? Or are they just stress?" 85% of the time I think they are stress related. I will probably write up something on my theory about the whole thing (which I know you are all dying to hear) but for now I will just focus on my latest example.



Two days before Racine I could tell my nerves were up. I was acting like an asshole to most people around me (not intentionally). Honestly I was trying my hardest to keep it under control. All that got in the path of Hurricane BDC I apologize. At least I didn't make those that suffered me sit in the Super Dome! I do have the best friends though that keep me sane when I flip out.



So this "pre race injury" was in my eye LOL. I define an "injury" as anything that happens to the body that screws you up. My left eye started to hurt and the the lid became swollen. I developed some form of stye. Long story short, the eye was at it's worst the AM of the race and then after the race it all started to go away. Before the race: "WTF! WHY ME? I CAN'T WEAR GOGGLES! LOOK HOW BIG MY EYE LID IS! IT ITCHES! IT BURNS!" After the race: "Oh my eye? It seems fine." Do you get my point here? I have tons of examples like this one (mine and others) that really suggest the mind is trying to sabotage us all!



Once the gun went off I really didn't thnk that much. Before I knew it I was on loop two of the run back in "Mummy Mode" (Huuuh Huuuuuh) trying to get my legs to go as fast as they could. The lack of speed work was noticeable but I was still able to run a 1:19:30 something. It's quick, but not the kind of quick I want to be running. In the end I was 5th overall and 1st Elite. With a time of 4:08 something (A PR) A great day for me!



The day before the race I was at the course watching my friend Jane do the sprint. She is new to triathlon and on a very cool journey of her own. She won the Athena category and looked so awesome out on the run. Myself, Jess and Becky were on the course yelling so there was very minimal walking on here end! GO JANE! Becky gave it hell the next day on the 1/2 hanging tough in that heat! Jessica, well, we all know she thinks doing triathlon is WHACK and that we are all Locco in La Cabezza. But that is one girl who knows how to spectate! It is going to be awesome having her energy on the course at Vineman and Hawaii!



At some point we heard a women talking to the race director about the course. She was bitching that the course should be described as "hilly and slow" not "flat and fast." I almost had to pull out a gay "GIIIIIRLLLLL" with a twist of black women "Yain't know nothing about NO HILLS!" I mean there were some "rollers" but anyone that uses the word "Hill" in the Midwest is smoking crack. If anything the proper thing to bitch about was the bumpy roads LOL...I fired a water bottle off the back and I think it is now orbiting the earth.....


So that's all. Glad to be back in Boulder. Had a nice open water swim with the guys this AM. Everyone is looking super fit. I think there is going to be some serious ass kicking in the next few months!



Thanks so much to Becky and Jane for putting us up the week before the race. It was a blast! I even had fun being crammed into one hotel room with the three of you. I hope my sleep toots weren't too bad for ya!


Later,

bdc

Lifetime Fitness

Here is a pic that Jessica took while I was on te run at Lifetime.

Hello Friends, Freaks and Family!


Well I made it to my next destination after I missed my flight! Most don't know that you can run more than a mile in the North West terminal in Minnicrabopolus. That is what I call Minneapolis. More on that later....


Lifetime was an AWESOME race for me. If you look on line at the results I did worse than an age group chick but that is because they messed up my chip somehow. I was actually second in the Elite Champ Race and did around 2:01.


When I got to the check in for the race everything went smooth until I noticed that my envelope said "Elite Female." It's funny because I saw the "Issues" table and thought "I don't want to have any issues" and then I see I am a girl LOL....It was funny because the girl that fixed it said "Okay you are now female to male." We were all cracking up and making jokes that they were going to check my "bits" in the back to be sure!


Even though she fixed it in the PC I found out on race day that since my number was not changed I was located in the chick rack and had their orange swim cap instead of the mens green. All the ladies loved it welcomed me to their rack. Not that rack people....lets try to keep the minds clean okay?


Anyway, I went down to the water to warm up and felt really good. I was ready to swim a PR in this distance with all that wonderfull oxygen I was breathing in. Too bad I ended up doing that but getting credit for a 28 something....oh well.....but before the swim I was lined up with all the dudes. I was the lone orange cap and since I had befriended my lady triathletes that were standing behind us they all started to chant " Go Brenda! Go Brenda!"


I was laughing in my head because when I was in 6th grade and really internally dealing with this gay thing my teacher accidentally called me Brenda Del Gada. She explained that she had a piano teacher named Brenda Del Gada when she was young and since my name is Brandon Del Campo it just freudianly came out. Wonder what all the kids in my cass called me? Lets just say that was worth at LEAST 2 years of therapy LOL. I share this openly because I think it is funny but if anyone on Team Good Guys call me Brenda I will KICK THEIR (Bad word coming up) ASS.


So luckily I didn't have horrible flash backs of 6th grade right before the horn went off. I just turned around and bowed pointing to my orange cap. Then the horn went off. Well sort of. It didn't really make a noise but we saw the fart like gas spew out and all started running.


The swim was rough (of course) but I knew that 1/2 way in the swim when I started to make my move that some of the guys would think that I am a girl passing them becasue of the orange cap. "My name is Biannca and I come from UKRAINE! I CRUSH YOU WITH MY SWIM!" One of the guys was talking to me after the race and saw me pass him and he thought "Damn that chick has big arms!"


The bike was pretty good. It was hard to find a rhythm because the roads had a lot of bumps, turns and wind. It was funny because I am not used to racing short like this and every once in a while I had to remind myself " Ride harder this race is SHORT!" I really did try to push but my aerobic system is way stronger than my legs are.....so I went around an hour or something...


Off the bike was the real test. I was told to run fast and I REALLY wanted to feel my run again. I tore out of transition and basically ran as fast as I could for two loops. My run speed top end is not very good right now but I just kept rolling. On my first lap a male in the pro race caught me and I just ran with him for the first loop. I thought he was in my race so I was very determined to beat him. When we got to loop two he said "good luck" and went into the finish. I figured I must have been running okay if he was a pro. He was working hard so it couldn't have been that slow.


On loop two I just focused on catching people on loop one. I knew I would have one chance on the small out and back to see where people were. I found out that I had dropped everyone trailing and had one more guy in my sight. I knew that I could hunt him down if I felt like hurting so I put it into "Mummy Gear" (Mummy Gear is when you are running making that HUHH HUUUHHH HUHHHH noise). If I was a tennis player I would SOOO be a groaner. Anyway I huffed and I puffed and I blew that athlete down. When I got in striking distance I had to slow down for 5 seconds just to make sure that I could pass him with some serious authority and not let him be able to go with me. He tried for about 2 sec but then I dropped him.

When I got close to the finish Jessica was there and I could tell that I was doing really well. I thought I was in 5th or 6th place but I knew by her face that I was better than that. When I crossed I heard them say that I was the second elite. I was pretty stoked. And then to find out that I had the fastest run of the day was icing on the cake. Seeing my result as 15th and 28 min swim was like eating that cake, licking the plate and then downing a pint of Ben and Jerry's and then having the sugar low hit. FUN!


I fell like I have the confidence to run fast at the Racine 1/2 next weekend now and then to also run well at Full Vineman. I mean, I only got chicked by one of the ladies!!!! In this distance that is super SAAAAWEEEEET for me :-) Oh wait, I was one of the Ladies. I guess I got second in both races haha...


Thanks to Lifetime for flying me out, putting me up and feeding me! It was a great experience and I am really glad I did it!

7 7 7

WIGGINS RIDE

Gordo, Denny, JD, BDC, Brent, Jon, and Billy

Here are the "Good Guys" at our last stop on the Wiggins ride. This last weekend was the last two days of a really solid block of training. On friday we rode the St. Varain loop and tacked on by going up to lake Brenard. That ride was interesting for me as I started out in a total "mood." Things were just not clicking on many levels so when the guys stopped for a pee break I kept rolling for some quality alone time up in the canyon. I figured I would just ride a comfortable pace and they would catch me and then I would just get back into the group.

Gordo caught up to me just as we turned to Ramond. I could tell he was doing some sets so I just did what he did. It was pretty tough as there was some good big gear work. Gordo eventually turned back (probably to go do it again) but I just kept rolling to the top. Mood changed and I was rolling nicely. Waited for JD at the top and then we rode to Brenard lake. Gordo went up too and the three of us went all the way to the lake. I had not been up there yet and it was so amazing. Wish I had a camera with me. The view would have been a much better pic then the one of us dorks LOL!

So anyway, the real training was to be done Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was the Wiggins ride. 155 miles of "nowhere." Apparently many of the greats have done this ride so of course we had to do it. When we rolled out for some reason the first hour felt like it went on foooooooreeeeeeever........and ever......I was so happy when JD rolled up to me and said "I'm bored." I felt the same way. That of course started some good convo to pass the time a bit. Billy started talking about some kid that was born without an asshole LOL!!! WTF? I'm so glad that I now know that it is possible to be born without one.....People often ask what you think/talk about when on the bike all day. Well there ya have it.....

Pretty early on I got a flat and Billy came running to the rescue and almost tackled me and my wheel. "Where's your Co2? Where's your tube? Do it this way! It's faster if you do it like this! Hurry Hurry STAT!" Before I knew it he was not helping me anymore but taking a leak on a church LOL. Denny rolled back to add some sense of calm to our efforts. Denny gave me a cliff bar wrapper to put over the bad patch on the tire and of course Billy comes running back "NOOOOO that isn't strong enough! I have a Cliff shot I can take so you can use the wrapper!" He rips into the Cliff shot and Denny and I see XXX the caffeine on the label. I have never seen Denny move so fast in my life. He ripped that Cliff shot out of his mouth so fast. It was an effort to save us all from an over caffeinated Billy. But it was too late. The highly potent Gel was down the hatch and we all had to face the fact that we were in for some classic Billy moments. Which of course came very quickly. I asked Billy where the new tube was and he handed it to me. I get it in and just as I start to pump "NOOOOOOO that is the bad tube LOL!" We are seriously the Bad News Bears of triathon. Denny was rolling, you could hear Gordo in the back ground "Hey buddy" and I am pumping the tire up with my hand pump which if seen from the back looks like I am having "fun" with myself.....

Once back on the ride I can't think of anything exciting that happened until we got to Wiggins. Well JD got all excited when we passed mile marker 69. Yes, we are all about 12. Denny dropped off to fix his own flat and ride solo for a bit. Billy and I were pulling the crew in on the last bit to Wiggins. We pulled off the front right before Wiggins as it was literally just a gas station. Once there I hit the snacks at light speed keeping one eye on Gordo at all times. He somehow ALWAYS gets in first and somehow ALWAYS has all his stuff and is sitting in the booth quietly eating his lunch while all us fools are still buying (Hey Buddy!) Denny rolled in a few min later and started laughing at me and my stash. I had a sandwich, 2 v8's, Power aide, water, and was eating as fast as I possibly could with one eye on Gordo. I eat so freaking slow and I know that when G is done the ride is ON! I did not want to get left out in the sticks by myself.

I made the roll out and Gordo and I got on the front pretty early on. I knew that he had mentioned some longer sets so I figured our pull was going to be a while. We were riding strong and silent. After a while I thought "how long is this pull going to last?" I mean I felt fine, I was just worried that the other guys weren't going to get there turn haha.....We pulled for a good 44 min. I felt strong.

The rest of the ride was sweet. We hit it hard the whole way and got our workout on. But I also got my laugh on as JD was somehow cracking me up all day. Billy farts and JD yells out "That was such a Bitch Poot! TWEEET!" I almost lost control of my bike I was laughing so hard. "Bitch Poot" has become our phrase of the week.

The ride was a really good day for me and my longest ride to date. I got exactly what I was looking for out of it. The real question would be "Can I run 21 miles in the AM?"

I will write about the run later as I am little tired right now. Why am I tired? Well, I will give you a preview: Team Good Guys decided to have some fun on our easy day and go bowling. On the way back Marky V thinks his car will make it back on NO gas......That will be a fun blog!

Supreme Court Decision

I think some people know about the recent Supreme Court ruling that declared on Thursday that public school systems cannot seek to achieve or maintain integration through measures that take explicit account of a student’s race.

This decision sparked a conversation with one of my best friends that I have know since I was 13 years old. Her name is Jessica and she grew up with me in Thousand Oaks, CA. She was one of maybe 5 black families in the area.

I wanted to write something on this Supreme Court decision. I feel that the small amount of diversity that my almost all white school had was a very precious gift for me. Diversity teaches and I don't think I would be the person I am today if that diversity did not exist. But before I write about my experience with this issue I asked Jessica to write something for the blog that gave her perspective. I think you will find it informative, challenging and entertaining. I will post my narrative in a few days. Here is what I like to call "What Jessica Thinks!"

Surprise-less Anger

It's funny how lack of surprise does not necessarily translate into lack of anger. I mean, take this scenario: The company you work for has been struggling financially and, after years of faithful, sacrificial, and productive service you find yourself laid off. You are not surprised by this; rumors of layoffs had been circulating for a while, and many in the company, including you, have been coming to work for months unsure about job security. You have even been keeping an eye out for job postings and sending out your CV.

Still, despite expecting it, the layoff will probably make you angry. I guess when it comes down to it, it's not being caught off guard that causes anger in many situations, but the consequences and the significance involved. Being forced to find a new job and face financial instability is upsetting, just as the realization that years of loyalty, hard work, and dedication often, in the end, meant absolutely nothing. So, surprise or no surprise, the anger comes.

In the same way, I guess that it has been the consequences and significance of the Supreme Court's decision to limit the use of race in school integration policies that have made me so angry. I'm DEFINITELY not surprised - racism/lack of racial understanding and discrimination of all kinds have not only been a part of US and international history, but have been key determinants of how our world is structured. But, just like the laid-off employee, I'm still angry - and this is why.

The Roberts written majority decision argued that "the way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race." To translate, the Supreme Court agrees with the mother in Louisville, Kentucky, who claimed that because her white child couldn't transfer to the public school (kindergarten) of her choice (due to a policy to maintain racial balance/diversity), the child was being discriminated against and that this is unconstitutional. In essence, the court majority is saying that current attempts to integrate schools racially amount to discrimination. That is absurd. Even more ludicrous is the claim that this decision is the path to end discrimination and is faithful to the 1954 Brown decision.

Really???? Remember the Brown decision? The decision that declared that legalized racial segregation in schools is unconstitutional? The decision that resulted in the National Guard having to be called in to Little Rock, Arkansas to protect nine brave black kids who were physically and verbally attacked by white mobs as they "integrated" an all-white school? This, the Brown decision that angered President Dwight Eisenhower, causing him to famously say to then Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren that, "[southern whites] are not bad people... All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big, overgrown negroes." Remember those glorious historical words? And this court now has the NERVE to say that school policies fighting for integration are the same thing as discrimination...??!!!

This in the age where schools in many areas are just as, if not more, segregated than they were when the Brown decision came down in 1954??? Efforts to fight against this trend are now seen as discrimination. What a sad, sad joke.

Because of Justice Kennedy's opinion, other methods may be used to achieve diversity, such as redrawing school attendance zones. This is what schools across the nation are now trying to figure out how to do. But they are NO LONGER able to simply say, "We have a policy that promotes racial integration." Such language in school policy is now deemed unconstitutional.

This all really pisses me off. Not only does the history of this issue make me view the majority decision as a travesty, but I find it absurd that in terms of education, racial diversity as a goal is not seen as valuable, which to me is part of the spirit of the Brown decision. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not one of those people who thinks that integration is some panacea - like, if we all live together, work together, study together, and play together a utopia will emerge.

In fact, I don't see integration as a solution to most problems that stem from prejudice. For instance, if a group of people is biased towards another group, sometimes the latter group can only thrive when surrounded by their own people. I get that.

That said, to say a school district cannot VOLUNTARILY push for racial diversity ignores the benefits that a diverse student population, when done right, can bring. Education is about exposure - exposure to literature, methods to solve math and science problems, history, etc. Exposure to people different from oneself can be a huge educational advantage, just ask anyone who has traveled. As any teacher knows, students learn as much from each other as from the teacher. Students with different life experiences each bring something unique to the table, making the learning environment much richer. And diversity is not only about race - it is about class, region, nationality, age, etc.

My own education in college and graduate school has greatly been advanced by a diverse flavor of colleagues in the classroom. Students from other countries have read different texts in primary and secondary school, and have a completely different knowledge base that nicely complements and/or challenges my own. Students from the Midwest have a different perspective on many issues than do students from the South. Middle-aged students have different ideas and approaches to learning than teenagers. I've experienced it all and have grown intellectually from it all as well. Lucky is the student who is exposed to such diversity at an earlier stage in their education.

But really, like I said, the integration issue is not really what makes me so angry. I am more incensed at the court's use of language of racial equality to advance policies that do the exact opposite. It's funny, none of these people who claim to be concerned about issues of discrimination seem to put their efforts to help the most disadvantaged victims of that discrimination in our society. Instead, they work to maintain the privileges of the already privileged.

It reminds me of a discussion I had with a friend the other day about a lecture I attended given by famous Princeton philosopher Kwame Appiah. He was talking about cultural value systems and argued that when it comes down to it, many values or judgments have no ideological or rational foundation. Really, you often just don't like something because you just don't like it.

One example Appiah gave was that most of us are grossed out by cockroaches. He said that we can rationalize why we not only don't like them, but are in fact disgusted by them. Typically we say that they are nasty, germ-ridden, dirty insects. However, Appiah pointed out that flies are actually more germ-ridden and dirty than cockroaches. I mean, we don't like flies either, but most people don't react with the same level of disgust to a fly as they will to a cockroach. Why? We just can't stand them. It's that simple.

I relayed this example to my friend Glenna who said, "That's what I wish the Christian right would admit. Stop using the bible to validate your prejudice... just say, 'We just don't like gay people.'" They just don't like gay people. Why build this elaborate, ideological, biblical case against it? If you followed the bible carefully, it's clear that Jesus was more opposed to things like materialism, which doesn't seem to bother most Christians. Similarly, why do certain people try to act like they give a shit about the Civil Rights Movement and use its ideological language to do things like oppose integration in the courts? They just don't care about the fight for racial equality, or they REALLY don't get it, or they DO get it and are clever as hell. I'm sure it's a combination of all of the above.

But do I REALLY think that things would be better if people just openly said, "We don't like you" or "We don't care"...??? I honestly don't know. Quite possibly it's just the surprise-less anger talking.

BEER MILE

BEER MILE START

There is Billy (all talk no game) to the left, Wess, JZ and Pete.

It sure is nice to go to an event that has some serious athletes that feel it is okay to let loose and do something crazy once in a while. Joanna Zieger (Olympian, Ironman Champion and Olympic hopeful for 08) was the host of the Beer Mile that took place the other day. It's funny that Denny was the one that signed me up and both Denny and I wussed out and didn't do it. We got so much crap from JZ about that...but I got her back after she was drunk and I got to witness her CHUNDER on lap 2 LOL! I have the pic of it as I was on "chunder watch" with my camera. If she isn't nice to me I just might post her blowing chunks on the track. And it was chunky!! I also put her in her place later by imitating her being drunk.....she chased me........ I had a 30 min run to go on and I wanted company. I honestly think I could have made her chase me around for 30 min LOL! But I will tell you that JZ is one tough cookie. She just crashed on the bike and had road rash along with a good bang to the head, yet there she is putting the guys to shame at the Beer Mile while telling Denny and I (in between laps) that we are total pussy's! I have a race coming up.....but she has the same race so that didn't really work as en excuse.

So lets talk about Mr. "I just finished top 10 in and IM" Edwards. The boy went on and on and on and on and on about how he was gonna rock the beer mile and put everyone to shame with his quick step and fast drinking. Homeboy DISGRACED Team Good Guys (That's us on G's Squad) so bad that he actually made Denny and I NOT doing it look like we did it better! But he sure got his buzz on. Billy gets so sensitive when he is drunk HAHAHA!

The real reason I didn't do it though is that I am just getting over being a bit "spent" and I thought it wise to stay away from such activities as I get HUGE hangovers when I drink. Plus Gordo has taken a good amount of time to help me out with my plan up to Vineman and I don't want to F it up. I already got yelled at for swimming too hard the other AM.....but we did agree that it was good for the confidence ;-) Anyway, I will be back to do a Beer Mile later in the year and JZ is going DOWN! WHAT! WHAT!

Things are starting to come around and I think I am going to be able to handle this next block of training. It has a lot of running, 2 solid races and one Big Bad Mofo of a bike ride. Looking forward to it all.

Okay I am a total Copycat right now as this is the same pic that Gordo has on his blog but it's my pic so there!

Anyway, I thought I would back track to our trip to Winter Park. The trip was meant to be a pretty big volume training camp. We rode from Boulder to Winter Park via Trail Ridge. The picture is at the top at about 11,000 feet. AS Gordo say's "We look better than we felt."

Anyway, the ride there was a blast and towards the end Denny and I put the hammer down and rode quite solid for the last 30K. It was great to be riding like that because just hours before that I was attempting to hitch hike LOL. You see once we got to the top the weather turned on us a bit. I found myself in a thunderstorm a top one of the highest peaks in Colorado. Denny and G were descending pretty quickly and I am a total wuss about it. Plus my break pads were worn very thin and I felt like the bike was not going to stop. Add in the shacking from the cold and you had one pathetic scene! I was staying calm though and just trying to go slow. But the rain got harder and I got colder. I stoped for a moment to gain composure and pull my knee warmers down so that they covered my entire leg. During my stop the lighting started and that scared the crap out of me. One bolt hit close enough for me to see it strike. Then the BOOM! the sound hit. That was when I stuck my thumb out. You would think that a poor cyclist shaking in the freezing cold about to get hit by lighting would be able to get a ride down the mountain pretty easily. You would think.....Did I look like a criminal? Why did this mini van that had plenty of room for me and my bike make eye contact with me an my thumb, saw the desperation on my face and then proceeded to not even stop and ask if I was okay??? When they rolled by they had those "support the troops" stickers all over the cars. The irony to me was the Americans don't actually do anything when confronted with it....the most they can do is put a sticker on their car...That was a bit of a tangent, but really what is the point of those stickers? Is it like a bake sale for the troops because our own government won't use our tax money to help them?

So anyway, I decided to get back on the bike and keep at it. After about 15 min of more freezing cold I found myself once again stopped on the side of the road. This time it was to take off all this clothing because I was burning up! Once down the mountain the sun was out and roasting away. It was so amazing to see the weather change like that. 20 min later I was at the gas station where Denny and Gordo were waiting. I could tell what kind of ride Gordo was having as he was eating a Haggen Daz Ice Cream bar. He just looked at me and said " I recommend no less than 800 calories."

We still had a long way to go and Denny and I found new legs and really hammered a section going into the park. By then end of the ride I was ready to be off the bike but was pretty stoked at how I felt because two years ago this ride wouldn't have even been possible for me. Matt was in town and gave us directions to our lodge. We cleaned up, had some dinner and then veged out to a movie as we fell asleep. Oh yeah, we ran off the bike too. The run felt good and actually helped the legs recover. How that is possible I am not sure....but it did.

The next day we were up early to ride to Rand and back. The ride would be about 100 miles and we were doing it as a Time Trial. No drafting and the goal was to run one hour off the bike as a "reality" check. Mind you we are up at about 8,000 feet and would climb to 10,000 or so.

When I woke up I felt okay. Once out on the bike I had a stomach ache right away. I had had stomach issues a few days prior but didn't give it much thought. My initial instinct was to call the ride off and just turn around. But of course I didn't and kept on trucking. I stayed about 10 -15 meters behind Gordo and just used him as a pace. Normally that should feel pretty easy for me in the begging as he is really good at working the back end of a ride. But it was hard from the start. I rolled up to him a few times and told hi how I was feeling and he felt I should just go easy and see if it gets better. By the turn around point I had full on flu symptoms and was in the shitter. We were in the middle of no where and I knew that I would have to ride back. The next 15 miles would be up hill and I was not real excited about that. I was the last one in the group to leave the turn point and thought I would try and work to catch up to Dr. J and Jon. Once I did I just kept it rolling. It was like I was in the zone and just wanted to get home. I knew that I could coast a bit when I go to the the peak but of course I forgot that the weather had said we were in for heavy head winds on the way back. Lets put it this way, when I started the descent I was standing up at times. I think I even hit a moment where I just wanted to get off my bike and go to sleep. I felt feverish and my legs had that ache you get when you have a cold. My skin felt like it had acid under it.

On the tail end of the ride when I started to feel some hope. That hope was taken away like drivers license for Paris Hilton when I totally forgot an entire section of the ride that was about 20K. I almost cried LOL...Almost. The wind was bad and I was fading big time. I looked back and I could see Jon in the distance. Thank the lord and the baby Jesus! I slowed down to almost a stand still waiting for him. I was going to make him pull me in for the rest of the ride. I was so afraid that he was going to fly by my and he wouldn't hear me that I blocked him on the bike. When he caught up to me " I just said 'HELP!" Or something like that. He laughed and I got on his wheel and we worked together. Every so often I would randomly scream out an obscenity. I think I started to scare Jon a bit LOL....Towards the end we rolled past a KFC that was pumping out grease smells. I think we were both pretty damn close to the idea of having a little sit down with the Colonel! I couldn't give Gordo the satisfaction of knowing that a ride reduced me to a bucket of KFC.

Once we get back I pretty much died. I had a fever and I couldn't eat. I drank about 10 mini V8's and just laid there in a haze. The guys were great. They all came in from time to time to check on me and my loyal roomy Denny is always a good guy to have around.

The next day I did ZIPPPPPO! We decided to drive back early. I wanted to be back down to lower altitude in Boulder and sleep in my own bed....oh wait, our real motivation was that the pool in Winter Park sucked and we were all jonesing for a good pool. Such Tri Geeks!

What happened on that second ride is sort of an unknown. I think that it was just a stomach bug but I guess it could have been altitude, fatigue and the ride the day before. None the less it happened 6 days out from Buffalo Springs 70.3 which might explain why that race was not super fast for me.

Right now Gordo put me on a 3 days of pretty mild stuff. I am tired and my leg's are a bit inflamed so I am going to take everything really slow until Monday.