BDC in The City: OOOMMMM My God!

It was my first real day in the city. I could hear all the honking cars, sirens and construction that had been going on since about 7am. Coming from Boulder I am used to birds chirping, squirrels climbing on trees and the occasional dog bark. I decided to jump start the day with one of those yoga classes I had found on line the night before. According to the map it was just an elevator ride and one block down the way.

Walking to class made me realize why there were so many yoga classes in the area, There was so much foot traffic that no doubt everyone on the side walk was a constant stress case. I was in awe of how many people there were. I have been to the city many times before but this just seemed unusually high. Maybe it was because Martha Stewart films her show just across the street? Although, who really wants to go see her? "And now we will be making a beautiful and tasty center piece out of fruits and chocolates" *SNORE*

The Yoga studio was on the third floor. It was Beikram yoga like I had been doing back in Boulder which means the room should be around 100-103 degrees. I had become so addicted to it in Boulder that I couldn't wait to get my sweat on! When I got to the studio it seemed really nice inside. Everything was zen as usual and the woman at the front, who was also going to be the instructor, seemed very pleasant as well. She asked me if I had done hot yoga before and I told her I had and was really enjoying it etc. She also asked me if I would like to buy a water for the class. Normally I don't drink water during the class. I seem to be fine and just hydrate after. I told her I would pass. She looked at me as if I was one of those guys who has to do everything the "macho" way and prove themselves. Really I wasn't, I just don't drink water in classes.

Once I was signed in she went over a very strict policy that the studio has. It says ONCE IN THE ROOM YOU WILL NOT LEAVE THE ROOM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. Basically they want you to stay in the room and go into child's pose or something if it gets too hot. I was like "fine whatever". I wasn't planning on leaving anyway. I signed the notice and went to change into my shorts.

The class was just about to start and I walked into the room directly followed by the instructor who proceeded to close the door. "HOLY HELL! WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!!!!" I had not been in the room yet but when I did the smell was seriously making me want to vomit. Literally I had some dry heaves and developed a minor moment of panic. I looked down and saw that the room was carpeted. How can a hot yoga studio have carpet!!! There were about 7 others in the room. As I tried my best to breathe though my mouth I looked around trying to make some eye contact with anyone that might share my issue with the smell in the room. Nobody seemed to have issue but me. All these crazy bitches were breathing hard through their noses and exhaling with that "HAAAAAAAAAAA" sound. The room was extra hot as well. I was used to hot but the temp in here was CRAZY hot. Honestly you could have baked a pizza in there.

My manly pride did get the best of me and I missed my chance to run out of there before the class started. I set my mat up and quickly went over to get some water in the spray bottles that you use on the soft matt to help you from slipping. I didn't pay attention to the bottle I was grabbing and before I knew it I was spraying matt cleanser all over the place. Honestly I didn't care because it was the best smelling thing in the room. I sprayed the shit out of my matt. Sure I would probably have soap bubbles on the mat by mid class but I didn't care! I even managed a quick spray on my finger and rubbed it on my nose to try and kill the smell of the room! The girl next to me saw me do that and moved her matt over a bit LOL. I think people in the room could sense my discomfort. How was I going to make it for an hour 30 of this. I was in Yoga HELL.

Once we all got to the top off our mats for the opening breathing exercises I was getting a bit acclimated to the smell. Or maybe it was the ammonia in my nose? Anyway, as soon as the class started, the instructor who had put on a Madonna like headset was now shouting out commands at mach one to us. Was this really happening? She sounded like a yogi auctioneer. "SHiiiiiivasinavasinavasinavasinavasina, DOWNWARD DOG, UP DOG, DOWNWARD DOG going once, twice SOLD to the lady doing Cobra in the back row!" It was the most uncalled for way to run a yoga class. She kept telling us to "stretch, go further, FURTHER, feel the pain, go beyond the pain, pain is good" etc. Since when is pain a good idea in a yoga class?

My past experience in yoga has been that time can go by rather fast. Classes for me in Boulder are over before I know it. It was no wonder that when I looked up and saw the clock I only had about 45 min to go. Thank the lord! I was already dying of the heat and smell. My matt was soaked and in fact did have a few bubbles on it from the soap spray. Of course the room stank like bad booty as most of my sweat was rolling onto the carpet.

We were doing some poses that had us facing the front mirror for most of the time. But finally the yoga auction was going to take a break and she had us turn around and face the back wall for some seated stuff. My relief of all the standing pose came to a halt when I realized that all this time, which I thought was a lot, was in fact almost nothing. I had been looking at the clock in the mirror. In reality only about 15 min had gone by. How can one mistake 45 min when it is actually only 15? It must have been the heat. I don't know. All I did know was that hope was fading away and I had well over an hour left in the room. I was so thirsty, so hot, so miserable and so annoyed! There wasn't even anyone hot to look at in the room. In fact there was only one guy who was in front of me. He was mid 30's, somewhat over weight and needed a good back waxing. I didn't care. I was desperate. I gave him a mental make over LOL Not bad.

As I cleaned up Mr. Big (We'll call him that to stay in line with the Sex and The CITY theme. Besides he was in fact "big") I noticed he had two bottles of water with him. Only one had been opened and the other was totally full with delicious beads of moisture running down it like it was about to be shot for an Aquafina add. I wanted it bad. I needed it! I MUST HAVE IT! We were all down on all fours doing some easier stuff and I was trying as best I could to get "Big's" attention. All I needed to do was make him understand that I had to have that water and that I would get him a new one when it was over. That is alot harder to do with just your the eyes. I suppose I could have said something as Miss Crazy teaching the class was so loud that you probably wouldn't hear me whisper. Alas I couldn't make contact. I thought about just grabbing the bottle and acting like it was mine but I could totally see myself grabbing it and running to a corner in the room screaming "IT'S MINE! IT'S MINE!" A heat induced tantrum.

I was screwed. I had exhausted everything at this point and was stuck in the room for another 50 min with no water and no hope. We were in triangle pose and I was looking up at my hand as hoards of water came running down my arm at my face. It was at that moment that my inner Miagi kicked in. "You want race Kona! You need deal better with heat!" This whole class was in many ways like my 5 miles of crap on the run last year in Kona. When I realized that I decided that this was my lesson for the class. Sure I was uncomfortable and things stunk (literally). The only thing I could control now was my mind and holding poses. Everything else was out of my control. I decided to go deep within and stay centered for the rest of this class. I focused more on the poses and less on everything else. Of course Miss Crazy had to add one more element and turned up the heat a notch. As if we weren't all dying already! I figured at some point I would stop sweating all together. I mean how much water can I actually have in my body.

We got down to the last 5 min in class. I had made it!!! I felt so much better and really think that if anything this class was mental training for Hawaii. Well it was training for any situation in life that is beyond uncomfortable. When I picked my mat up water went everywhere. I really didn't give a shit. That studio deserved to have a giant puddle left from me. I was leaving my mark!

I took the biggest breath of my life when I got out of there and ran for the shower. I had thought for a while that I would buy several waters and chug them but now I was kinda interested to see how much water weight I had lost. I held back and stumbled my way back to cliffs. He had a scale at the Apt and when I got on I was 152 pounds! Normally I weigh around 161-164! Even if it read low, that was still some decent water loss. I grabbed a huge jug and even found some Salt stick pills and took it all in while again having a nice ice cold shower.

Later that day we were going to head out on a ride into the park. It is about 20 blocks from Cliffs place which would mean some serious city riding for me. I can only imagine what kind of blog worthy stuff it will bring!